Does this situation sound familiar? You have been getting closer and closer to your guy recently and things seem to have been going really well.
You guys were spending so much together and he was calling or texting every day. He would bring you flowers or do other romantic things, such as take you out for a fancy dinner date.
Then all of a sudden, just as quickly as you guys got close, he starts to withdraw.
If you are wondering why men pull away, then welcome to the club! This is such a common occurrence that just about every woman has asked herself this question at some point.
The answer of course depends on your exact situation, so I will go over some of the most common scenarios to break down the most common reasons why your man has been withdrawing.
Video Reveals: Why Men Lose Interest And How To Get Him To Fall In Love And Commit
What To Do If A Man Pulls Away After The First Few Dates
We have all been there, so do not feel bad if this happens to you. You have been dating a new guy and things seemed to be going well. He was texting and calling you and seemed really interested. You went on a few dates and then bam, he suddenly just disappears on you. You never hear from him again and it is as if none of it ever happened.
So what is going on here? Are you crazy? Did you make the whole thing up in your head? Should you call him and try to find out if he is still interested?
The bottom line here is that this guy is not interested in you, and it is time to move on to the next guy. You are a hot, single woman who deserves to be chased and wooed by your man. You do not need to waste any more time on the kind of guy who just disappears.
In the beginning when you have just started dating a guy, both of you are still free to date other people. He probably has other options, and you should definitely have other options too. Date multiple guys at once so you never get hung up on this kind of guy.
In the dating phase, you should be letting guys chase after you. Guys have a biological instinct that makes them want to hunt you down and claim you as their own. They love to beat out the competition and win the prize. In order for that instinct to get fulfilled, you need to hold back and let them pursue you.
If you come on too strong in the beginning of a relationship by calling or texting a guy constantly, he is going to lose interest and pull away. Letting him pursue you at this stage is what will keep him interested and prevent him from pulling away.
If you let a guy pursue you, and he still pulls away, that is a sure sign that he is not interested. Wouldn’t you rather know now before you get too invested in the relationship?
There is no need to let it get you down if a guy loses interest. Wondering why men pull away after just a few dates will only drive you crazy. There are plenty of other guys right around the corner that would love to get a chance with you.
What To Do if A Man Pulls Away After You Sleep With Him
Ah yes, this is perhaps the worst of all the guys who pull away. This is the guy who lays on the charm and works hard to get you into bed. But once you give it up and sleep with him, he suddenly disappears on you.
So what does it mean when a guy pulls away after sex? Did you do something wrong? Were you lousy in bed? You are left feeling used and hurt and want answers. So what you should you do?
Unfortunately this situation is all to common, and the answer is usually the same. The guy who pulls away after sex was usually just using you for sex. He was only interested in getting you into bed, and then he had no use for you once he got what he was looking for.
If this happens to you, the best thing to do is just move on. There absolutely are good guys out there, and there is no reason to waste any more time on this loser. You need to have respect for yourself and understand that you do not deserve this kind of treatment, ever, no matter what!
The best way to prevent this from every happening to you is to hold off on having sex with a guy you are dating until you get into a committed, monogamous relationship. Waiting can be hard, because women have needs too! But you need to protect yourself from the guys out there who only pursue you to get you into bed.
If you make a guy wait and he continues to pursue you, you will know for sure that he is interested in you, and not just sex. Once you have been dating for a while and both of you want to take it to the next level, have a conversation and discuss what being in a relationship means to both of you before you get into a physical relationship.
What To Do If A Man Pulls Away From A Longterm Relationship
There are a few common fears that most men have that factor into why they start to pull away from relationships. Men are afraid of losing their freedom, and they are afraid that you will try to change them. From time to time, they need to pull back and get the space to know that they are not losing their freedom and their identities.
Men and women have fundamental differences in the way they function in a relationship. Women are nurturers and men need to have space to grow closer to you. Taking it personally and questioning why men pull away will only make you feel more hurt and angry. It is just biological fact that you need to accept.
On a scientific level, men start to feel uneasy when they bond with a woman too much. Bonding releases the love hormone, Oxytocin. In woman, this hormone reduces stress, but for a man, it actually lowers his testosterone levels which can then increase stress. Men need time to pull back from all that bonding and build back their testosterone levels.
This process is often referred to as the “rubber band,” where a man alternates between being close to his partner and pulling away, like a rubber band. The key is not to move towards your man when he is withdrawing, because it creates slack in the rubber band. You want to give him his space and keep the tension in the rubber band so that he eventually snaps back and becomes close to you again.
Just know that it is completely normal for men to need space in a relationship. This is actually how they get closer to you. Remember that old saying, absence makes the heart grow fonder? Men sometimes need to spend time apart from you so they can miss you and remember why they loved spending time with you in the first place.
It is not a bad thing for a guy to get a taste of what life is like without you. It will make him appreciate you even more and want to win you back so he never loses you for good. If you give him his space during those times when he needs to feel his freedom again, he is going to feel supported and comfortable enough to come back to you.
So what exactly should you do when he is off enjoying his freedom? Do the same thing! You need to have a life of your own too, so hang out with your friends, catch up on some reading, and just enjoy being you. You are a fabulous woman with a complete and fulfilling life all on your own. You do not need a man to complete you, so just roll with the punches and do not take it personally when your man needs a little space.
About Adrienne Mansfield
I disagree with the whole article.
If he disappears after the first date: He doesn’t feel attraction.
If he disappears after a few dates: There is someone else who he fancies more. If he didn’t fancy you at all he wouldn’t have asked you out after the first date.
If he disappears after sex: he could have been a player or he just didn’t enjoy sex. So he moved on. Also he might had someone else appearing in his life that he was more interested in.
If in a relationship he pulls back: He is either reassessing of the relationship, he might be interested in someone else so he doesn’t know if he should stay or he should go or he just wants to see his friends same as you want to see yours.
As a female friend of lots of guys and a former tomboy, I can tell you most of the times when a guy pulls back there is either someone else or not a strong attraction. What should you do? Monkey see monkey do.
My boyfriend of 7 1/2 mos has started pulling away. He was the 1st 1 to say I love you and said it often. Per him, we even got our kids involved. I am his longest relationship since his bad marriage (7 yrs ago). Also, I found out last week that he was still on the dating site we met on. I don’t think he was meeting women but that’s still cheating. It’s been over a week since he has said I love you or I miss you. I love him but am deeply hurt. I tried talking to him and he says it’s not me and he doesn’t want to break up – he’s just in a bad place with bad jobs, a work injury, dealing with his daughter who is copping major attitude recently. I haven’t ask since and that was a week ago. I don’t bother him but do respond briefly when he texts and try to sound happy and upbeat – even though that isn’t how I feel. Should I wait or am I wasting my time?
I met this man 2 months ago. He was sent to our office location to be trained. I was one of those who gave training to him. He’s 35 and I’m 26. He told one of my coworkers one day that he has a crush on me. June 23rd was the day he added me on facebook and the day we starting chatting. We just talked random things the first week. I’m the kind of girl who dont like towaste time so after a week of chatting, i asked him if what’s his intention. He answered that it’s his first time having an interest to girl that lives on the other side of the world andit’s new to him so he wants to.make things slow. He also mention to one of my friend that he wants to make things right. What does it mean? We’ve been chatting for 2 months now and I jave this uncertain feeling whether he wants a relationship with me or not. How long should I wait? We also every day during work days but NOT on weekends. fyi, he’s back in the US now and im still in Asia so we sort of in an online dating. Please advise.
So, there is this guy who I see often at one of the places I work at. I am some what intrigued by him for many reasons, but over all he is confusing as hell. Maybe you could shine a light on why he acts the way he does and wether or not he is interested in me.He acts very different every time I see him, almost like he is a very different guy every time which is so disconcerting. He’ll be all smiles one day and telling me unsolicited things about himself and even light touches on the arm and then the next time he’ll be quiet reserved painfully shy and nervous. But what also confuses me is that I get a distinct feeling that he gets irritated when he is around me. PLEASE HELP!!! I am at a loss as to how to react around him. I know we have absolutely nothing in common, and I can’t for the life of me understand why he is all shades of mood every time I see him.
I met this guy and he was like soo interested in me and want to see me everyday even 4am in the morning then we slept together and after that I didnt get that much attention but still communicating although I felt like I was the one who makes more effort then we slept together again then he was really so he says so the other day I asked him if he had a girlfriend and he dis not want to answer that but eventually did answer that and says he does then I get angry and ask why did he not tell me at first and made me believe we are I this together and he was like dont I think we should not talk about tjis on whattsup and that was his last text with me and it hurts so bad that I miss him but still think that he only wanted sex
Advice please
pretty sure u just answered it yourself:SSSS actually i feel kinda bad for da gf://unless they were on a break or an open RS….
It’s impossible to understand what you’ve written. You used zero punctuation, so PW is one to know where one thought ends and another begins. I’m truly sorry you are hurt.
Oh what a common scenario this is.
I met my “time traveler” 3 years ago. He is younger than me and hasn’t had any luck with relationships. To make this short we see each other alot for 3 or 4 months and then he pulls away. Then he is back and then he pulls away. We are working on round 4 right now. The 3rd pull away was the day after Valentines day after spending an amazing weekend together. It was dinner and dancing in the loving room and gifts and conversation and laughing. It was amazing. The next day didn’t hear from him for a month. Round 4, right now, started this past Sunday after spending 4 nights out of the last week with him. We talked about things in his family life that had us both in tears and the closeness seemed unbelievable. Two nights later he told me he knew how I felt about him and I agreed and told him I didn’t want to talk about that anymore. He said he did because he wanted to know how I felt. Again, amazing night. Two nights later, we fell asleep on the couch wrapped in each other. He even called the next morning after I left to tell me to be careful. And now, now we are being distant. He hasn’t text or called in three days which isn’t normal when things are good. I keep telling myself he is probably scared because he does realize he cares for me but then my crazy female mind starts thinking maybe there is someone else. I know if there is, there is nothing I can do about so worrying won’t help. I just hope it’s a pull away to regain his thoughts and I hear from him soon. What does it sound like to any of you?
Thanks.
mmm yeaaa exactly why u shouldnt give all of you which iz sooo fcking typical n u only realize it happened once u’re out:SSSS
goshhhh hate it when it happens just did recently:(( honestly it drove me nuts s well he didnt contact me for a week then i “accidentally ” sent him a random thing in whatsappp……obvs he replied…with ll that cute blablablahhhhh stuffff:SSSS as if othing was wrong..******yuhhhh not givin a single sign of him was soooooooooooo okkkkkkk ughhhhhhhhhhh i hate men……
so i tried not contactin him but i couldt last more so i was gonna “play it off” like OOPSSSS it was accidentally or whatevs:SSS i failed….now i figured. no. just. keep. away…..
i dont need dat bullshit dat crap dat empty words…NAHHH!!
step up or step back……i cant d nothin but da last one…..maybe its better though i really should get more onto this “let s see what is iz out there” game:SSSSS
Ladies – let him pull away and let him go if he wants to . The minute he pulls away immediately start focusing on yourself, your hobbies, all the pleasant things that make YOU happy , join dating web site, go shopping and live your life without him . Once he calls – treat it as a surprise, if he never calls – so what ? big deal? really??
You are amazing….lol..I need to think and be like you asap!!1
Ladies! That’s my motto. If he pulls away, I just start acting as if I just don’t care. Yes, sure it’s hard and it hurts. But guess what?? They come crawling back like sad little puppy dogs. ^^^^like the comment above…if he never calls keep it moving. But 95% of the time it makes them want you more and wandering who you’re with. It’s a game that just has to be played ughhhh
Omg! Why in heavens name do you let these men rule your emotions like this? I have never dealt with this type of bs. You have to act like you don’t give a rats ass if they stayed or left. When you act like you don’t need them and live your life they will fall at your feet and chase you around like a lost puppy dog. It has worked every single time. I pick and choose who I allow in my life. Men don’t pull away from me they become obsessed. Buy the book Why men love bitches. Follow it and watch what happens to your love life.
That book also helped me a ton! Excellent recommendation!
No, you shouldn’t “act” like you can live without him, because if you’re despairing internally while pretending you don’t care, your neediness will come out sooner or later. You should actually have a fulfilled life and respect yourself enough to hold your ground and know that you don’t need a guy who treats you like shit 🙂
I could not agree with you more. After 8 years of not dating met this guy on-line and he is 58 and he has been e-mailing me and skyping and I said let us meet up and he said he was busy for the next 2 weekends. LOL.than I e-mailed him and said look clearly you are out dating other women and I said finishing your exploring and if you do not find anyone and you are still interested meeting give me a shout. This morning he e-mailed “Hi” my response was a have a wonderful weekend.
My point, amen, do not let a man rule you…rule yourself and do not ever go to bed with a man for at least 6 months after dating make them wait and before even getting in a bed go to a blood bank donate blood. Why? The blood bank automatically test for HIV and they always send a card in the mail, and it is a fun sharing the results and if they are witless they will never know you got them to have an HIV test and if they do not want to donate for whatever reason walk away..
My guy and I have been dating barely for 6 months. Before this, we had an interest in each other for about a year, we just never did anything on account that I met him off of a mutual friend. I ended up “dating” that friend, but it was nothing too serious on account that he wasn’t looking for anything long-term. After a while my current boyfriend then kissed me, and good things started from there. The typical relationship stuff, going out, hanging out, watching movies and sleeping over. All the good stuff. Into our 5th month, I found out I was pregnant. Of course I let him know, and we decided not to keep it. But right when things started to get better, the news changed everything when he said it wouldn’t. A month later, now in December, we still haven’t take care of our situation due to the lack of money. We now found a way, but he’s getting even more and more distant each day I believe.. He never wants to hang out unless I ask him, doesn’t call or text, he avoids and ignores me. Although all this, he still says things that include plans for the future. I feel as if I already know the answer, but I might just be putting too much thought into what he’s said, and that they just don’t mean anything. To be fair, this has happened to him once already, and it was the reason to why his relationship at that moment failed. He also says that whenever he’s stressed, he just kind of hides away until someone “pulls him out” of his funk.. I don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t know whether I’m jumping the gun, or if his distance really means what I think it means. Thank you to who ever can help.
I know all the comments are from 2013 but I just wanted to say this has been the best article for what I’m going through. My bf and I live an hour apart and see each other on weekends. So when he asked me to skip a weekend, I freaked out…I was married from the time I was 20 until 34 so I’m “new” to dating. My initial reaction was to tell him ok and immediately google “needs space” but all the other articles claim “your man is cheating!” and I know that isn’t true. Thank you for giving a man’s perspective because it allowed me to ask if it’s just stress and he needs time to breathe and the open communication helped me see space is not the end of a relationship like I first feared.
You stopped being the person you presented yourself to be when you first met — you became your true self and after a few months he sees it now. In marketing it’s called the old “Bait ‘n Switch” and guys will feel duped when it’s fully recognized. Most guys hate being duped and will become distant as a result. Maybe you were more fit and active when you were single (before you met), and now after several months of eating out, drinking and not exercising you are not as fit as you were, or really not living up to a healthy lifestyle as you once professed. Maybe you’ve become lazy and your TV viewing habits are showing. Maybe you stopped showing an interest in going out an having fun, preferring to stay at home instead. You need to be the person you were when you first met, now and forever on. Allow yourself to wilt, and so will your relationship.
I met this guy through a friend. At first we started texting each other. We did that for about 2 months before we met in person. The first time we met in person he came to my house. I have known a lot of his family for most of my life. We went on our first date and afterwards he came back to my house. That was on a Friday. The following Tuesday-Friday he came to my house to see me. On Saturday we went to NC so that I could meet his Father. The following Thursday he takes me to meet hos Mother. Then his Dad had to have emergency surgery and he had to go to NC for a week. He did not contact me the whole time he was there but time he got back he texted me and let me know he was home. He came over the next day and things were great. I talked to him the following day but haven’t heard from him since. That was a week and a half ago. I know that he lost his job right before his Dad’s surgery, he is facing the possibility of losing a toe because of Diabetes. He is worried that his Dad could die at any minute and that his Dad’s new wife could take everything that his Dad has and he would get nothing. I just don’t know what to think about the fact that he hasn’t responded to any of my calls/texts or that he hasn’t been to see me in over a week.
I honestly dont think that this is at all a legitimate excuse. why should we allow them to be wishy washy and come and go as they please because they can’t handle it? Sure, men and women are a little different. but women are also different from other women and men are different from other men. I think this is just an excuse to let them have control over your emotions and your life. My parents have been together 28 years and sure they have had their differences and arugements but they ALWAYS communicate and let each other know what is going on. and if they needed space, it was a MUTUAL agreement. I just dont think it should be that way, that is no way to live.
True and amen to that. I’m giving my ex bf of a two year relationship have his space now for the last three months; and I let him have his space once before for 9 months and never again will I do this. A man who needs such “space” is not much of a man if you ask me. A man is supposed to care for, protect and put his woman on pedestals- needing space is selfish and childish and 100% counterproductive-exactly what is wrong with this new generation of men.
I have heard of so many women who have gone through the same scenario but I never thought it would happen to me one day. We were together for six years, we’re both married but before we met, we’re dealing difficulties with our spouses..We started sharing and enjoying so many things. Thought everything would be perfect when this year we finally decided to file divorce both sides.
We became attached to each other. We travel together, have the same interests, hang out here and there. We became best of friends and we call our relationship as the right love in the wrong time. We had so many plans and dreams, we even never used to fight anymore unlike during our first year.
We fell in love so deeply until a few weeks ago his wife started giving him troubles, stealing his phone and passport etc… Last tuesday October 22, 2013 at around 2:30 pm last seen him, we had a nice talk, kissing me, teasing me… at around 4:30 I called him to check on him how he’s doing. He said just find and in the job, at 5pm called him back again and he wasn’t able to pick up the phone the way he used to… After a while finally spoke to him and asked if there’s something wrong but he said he just wanted to take a rest and not feeling well so I told him to take medicine and he agreed.
Around 7pm I tried calling him again but his phone was already off. After so many times of trying, I started to panic and called his friend and he told me he saw him coming out from the job in a great hurry, packed all his things from his locker and dumped so many things. When I found out, I trembled and don’t know what to do next… I kept on waiting for his call the whole night until the next morning. He never did… Unfortunately, until now I never heard anything from him. I am totally helpless since I could not open this up to anybody. It is actually so hard. I can’t even find any answers for my questions and anxieties. I even don’t know what to do until now. Hoping one day, he would give me a call and just say it’s over then I will be fine. I don’t know how to deal with this. I’m so hurt…
I’m going through a divorce and a guy who let me down when I really liked him in high school comes along and swoops me off my feet. Granted he tried to make up for it by asking me to the finale school dance but then he went quiet and only surfaced now. At this stage my marriage is totally over and was when he got into the picture and we moved too fast. We even talked about moving in together and having a baby.. not good I know.
So we talked about slowing things down and finding ourselves in the relationship. Now he is pulling away all of a sudden. He doesn’t think he will ever want kids and I know I want kids. I’m thinking is it possible to allow mysellf to be let down by the same guy and it really feels like high school all over again.
He is going through a stressful situation but he doesn’t tell me exactly what is wrong so I can’t help or relate. I know we could be good together but I feel like he has a lot of emotional immaturity issues he needs to work through.
I am hurt cuz I think I love him or he was a great distraction from my bad divorce situation. I’m not sure which is which. What should I do? I want him back in my life whatever the reason may be I need him back.
There may be your first clue in the last thing you said. ..”I need”! Not implying anything but, if you have requested things from him, he may have seen this as demands and imposed threats to his independence (subconsciously) and isn’t mature enough to know how to properly deal with it.
Dealing with emotions are not taught in schools but just the same, don’t let yourself sit around moping about it! You have major insecurity issues which you need to work on and this guy my come back or not but don’t let him deal you power of being a functioning human being. Yes he is gone, it might be a result of your action (not implying anything, deep down, only you would know) but even so, you deserve better!
You need to learn to ask three right questions before you invest your heart into someone; “how do you feel about sensitive women?” “As a man, if you feel emotions of threat to your independence, would you be able to talk them through or bolt?” As a man myself, I’m just trying to understand relationship issues myself as I too suffer from “HSP” (Highly Sensitive Person) (which is slowly becoming recognized as by the Mental Health “specialists”.)
Anyways, my point is, do your home work and like you have done, read up on these things. Google things like what you’ve already started, but use clue words from some answers you’ve read to lead to your next question AND don’t just ask the girly questions, put yourself in a guys shoes, ask similar questions from a man’s perspective, get inside his mind “why are women so insecure? ” or “how can a man express his emotions/share his emotions with a woman?”
From the answer, you can develop your own questions to get a better understanding of your next potential date. Turn it into a fun game like a trivial pursuit and not make it uncomfortable. Take your time with it and don’t have sex until you’re comfortable with your results or bare in mind that it’s just fulfilling your needs to and express out to him. “There may be a chance that you may bolt after I give myself to you, but that’s ok as I have my needs too!” Don’t put pressure on him by asking “are you going to just do me and run like the others!?!” Again, insecurities!
I feel so bad that I did not understood he was pulling back. It started two weeks ago when he did not write me messages! Later it was like he ran from me and finally he stopped answering me and visiting me!
I feel bad that I sticked to him all the time and asked him what’s wrong. I didn’t know it was a pull back so I’m afraid it will last forever 🙁
I feel so alone without him. I am so tired of waiting! Sometimes I think I have to find another man!!
Just reading your comment. I agree that men pull away due to fear of the emotional bond that you are creating inside them.. I also have seen that letting them have too much space, will also teach them that you are content with being alone and waiting for him to come back when he feels like it. Give him two weeks to get his shit together, or you will become an option not a priority! Too much space is saying, I’m OK with being your doormat, and you can disrespect me anytime you want to. OR.. You can state your truth. Don’t whine! Don’t be NEEDY! Don’t say more than a few short words, and then DROP it. Period!!!. Men seem to understand emotional words better than they let on. Tell him, You can see that he needs space, and that’s perfectly fine. You 100% support that. I don’t expect anything from you, and I’m living for today, and now.
That shows him that you GET HIM, and you have no interest in pressuring him, or making heavy of your relationship when he’s got cold feet.
And let him breathe, stop over txt, and never ever tell him you need him or it makes you sad. Because he will see you needy and dump you.. sad and needy isn’t sexy.. Sexy is what keeps him, from the inside.
Hope that helps
Hi there, this is very interesting. I would like you to advise me… I met a guy a long time ago. We used to share an apartment, but then we weren’t friends. He didn’t talk to me and I hated talking to him as well.
Later, I moved out and we didn’t see each other anymore. One day I met him on my way coming home from the market and he gave me his number. From there we started talking to each other. We both fell in love within a month. I could not withhold my self from him. We had sex and it was fantastic. To be honest, I really enjoyed this guy to the fullest.
I wanted him to move in with me but he said no. He said, we just started dating and he wanted to know me properly. Suddenly, this guy totally changed. He stopped calling me like before and started arguing with me all the time. I am really in love with this guy. What can I do to win his heart?
It sounds like you came on too strong with this guy by asking him to move in. It was too much, too soon, and it probably scared him off.
You started getting serious and planning for the future before he had reached that point. He realized you were more invested in the relationship than he was, so he pulled away. Relationships can unravel when one person jumps too far ahead of the other person.
When guys make a commitment, they need to feel like it was their choice. They don’t want to feel pressured or roped into something. One of their biggest fears in relationships is losing their freedom.
If you push something on a guy too soon, like moving in together, he’s not going to feel like it was his choice and he’ll start to feel his freedom slipping away.
In this situation, I’d recommend giving him space. Stay busy and keep your options open by dating other guys. Don’t be too available and he’ll start getting interested again. Show him that you’re a hot commodity and he’s got to commit to you if he doesn’t want to lose you.
I’m kind of tired of advice like this!! Always giving men all the control and power over our emotions! All this make him chase, make him feel like it’s his decision…all of this advice completely undermines a woman’s wants, needs, and desires and make relationships revolve around men and their egos. Maybe I will be single forever because I just can’t deal with this bull$hit!!! Why can’t men choose me because I’m a good woman who is smart and funny? Why does he need to win me like some object or prize before I seem valuable? Men these days are worthless! I wish I didn’t like them at all!!!
I was thinking the exact same thing Susan. How many men are reading articles on how to please and keep a woman!!!!! Why do women do it to themselves? I will never understand men and how they operate. I can’t believe that they are all the same either. There has to be some out there who are just happy to commit and communicate without all this drama!!!
I know, i agree, it’s all games and it’s boring. There are some nice men out there though, who would never take a chance to dessert you and think you will be waiting when they get back. usually it’s the narcissistic guys, the ones who think they are “all that” who no woman has ever rejected , who are arrogant and full of themselves. Look for a normal guy, not an extremely hot personal trainer or something. There are alot of lonely guys out here too, and they are great!
Susan….I love your comment….the best Ive heard thus far. We as grown women deserve just as much as a man if not more. No wonder women “male bash” because men act like spoiled kids….if things dont go their way they throw tantrums and want to run away when the going gets tough then ease back in when itsbconvenient for them. Well I say NO….I do not cater to your needs, I cater to my own needs and the needs of my child….not a grow man. Why should I always back away and kiss your ass while you make up your mind about what you want without a care about how I might be feeling?….I want to believe in my heart of hearts that there are good guys out there but they are far and few. Im not looking for a knight and shining armour….nor am I looking for Quasimodo….just a man with some morals and not hung up on his self and cant care about another person….damn…is tbat too much to ask?
Hello beautiful ladies. I have been in your situations before and I know how anxious you feel. The way to fix it is for you to pull back. Put him in perspective, he is a nice guy but he is not the be all and end all of your life so stop making him into that. Get back into your own groove and be fabulous at being YOU. Stop reaching out to him, let him contact you, let the space between you grow so he can breathe again and so he can miss you. If he truly cares he will come back to you and maybe even start wondering if you have pulled back. Life is too short to spend you day worrying about him and it isn’t healthy to do that anyway. Lots of Love xoxo
It is truly frustrating and difficult to understand why when things seem to be going so well, that the man suddenly seems withdrawn and distant. As a first step, try and think about things he may have said – about a big work project deadline looming, family illness, troubles with a friend or at home – these may contribute to his withdrawal, and the best support is just an occasional “thinking of you, wish i could help!” or some type of easy message that does not require a response, just indicates your sweet support.
If you notice he is online, but still not responding to you – remember he is a man, with ego – strong man, able to support his woman – he cannot really send you a whiny weak message, so he prefers to wait until he has sorted out things on his own (maybe with friends and family who have seen him in this weak mode).
Don’t take it personally, just wait. Just like you put makeup on and fix your hair and clothes to look good for you man, he wants to be strong and in control of his life with you – and needs time to get things sorted so he feels ready to be with you again.
If you cannot think of any reason that he might be focused elsewhere – do consider the option that maybe, just maybe, he is moving on from you. Think of a situation in the past where you met a guy, thought he would be great, and then started thinking “maybe not so great for me after all” and you slowly backed off the guy, so as not to lead him on further.
You remain polite, but you keep your distance, late responses to texts, not answering phone calls, etc. You may even wish he would just stop contacting you, no? He would be confused as well in the beginning, but naturally he will move on from you when he realizes feelings are not reciprocated.
You need to do the very same thing here. Stop all contact, let him go. You may never know why he decided you are not for him, and actually it does not really matter – just take the signals and move on gracefully, with dignity. Tell your friends quite honestly you have no idea why he suddenly went cold, but that you don’t have time to waste to try and figure it out and that you are ready to go out and live life to the fullest!
It is not easy, we know, but really the sooner you make that decision in your heart, the easier it will be to move on – and the faster your heart will be open to meet someone else. Good luck ladies!
Yes. I am right here. This situation is to the “T” where I’m at.
We have been dating for 5 months. We’re fighting a lot for the third month.. then things were okay, but then lots of things like work and getting a bad case of the flu, broken leg, things came up and for the past 5 weeks it’s been pretty touchy. And he asked me for space. And I am giving it to him. But every second feels like a month, every hour is a year. I just hope that this time apart is not.. the end. 🙁
Great article. I get this happens but how long is too long for a man to pull back? I guess what I’m really asking is when you know to just walk away? My very close guy friend of 15 years is now my bf…but he’s pulled away. He’s been responsive if I text (staying sweet) but I have not seen him in a wk. I kind of wonder if that is normal. I could see 2-4 days but a week? I feel sad and unsure if we want the same thing. I am however going to give him his space. Why does everyday have to feel like a month, even staying busy! He even said last week he’s sorry for being a bad bf right now. I’m so confused!
I would only give him about a week or so. If someone doesn’t want to see you for two weeks, nor makes any attempt to contact you, they need to know they are not showing you the appreciation you deserve and just go out and continue to live your life. It won’t hurt forever, and they will have lost you because they took you for granted. How dare they? Would YOU ever take a chance and fool around with someone’s heart and life like that? And if you did, what would it mean? It would mean you didn’t really wanna be with him.