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How To Handle Hot And Cold Men

How To Handle Hot And Cold MenEvery woman is bound to come across a guy who runs hot and cold. The hot and cold men are the ones who get close to you, then pull away, then get close to you again, and then pull away again.

One week they are calling you and texting regularly, and it is great to be around them. They make you feel loved and adored, and you think everything is going great. The next week, they disappear and you feel completely rejected and alone.

So what is the deal with these guys? Are they just playing games? Every situation is going to be different depending on what is going on in your relationship. It is most likely that these guys are unsure if they want to be in the relationship. For some reason, they are being wishy washy and the bottom line is that they do not really know what they want.

In this situation, there is only one way that you should respond. Give them space! Most women do the complete opposite and that is a huge mistake. Calling these guys and demanding answers is only going to push them further away.

Reaching out and trying to fix things is only reinforcing the cold behavior. Giving these guys space is the best way to communicate that you are not okay with the hot and cold antics. If your man is not sure of the relationship, then you need to carry on with your own life. You do not have time to waste being tossed around by a guy who loves you one minute and ignores you the next. Date other guys and act like the hot commodity that you truly are.



When a man pulls away at one point in a relationship, he usually is looking for some freedom and space to just go and be a man and do what men do. This is pretty normal and nothing to really worry about. Men need space in order to grow closer to you and to take the relationship to a deeper level.

But when you are dealing with hot and cold men who constantly go back and forth, that is a different story. You need to hold your ground in this situation, and demand better for yourself. If he is messing with your emotions, then it is time to move on to find a man who will treat you better, because you deserve better.

Speak up and tell your man how his behavior is making you feel. Stay calm and try not to be confrontational. Tell him that you are looking for a more solid relationship with a man who does not have doubts. If he is doubting things, then you are not willing to wait around for him and are ready to move on. Let him know that you can handle the truth and give him a chance to explain himself.

It is important to back up your words with actions. If you decide to give him space, then do not contact him at all. If you tell him you do not want to wait around for him, then cut yourself off and go date other guys. It is important to give off the vibe that you are a hot commodity and your time is valuable. This will make him see that he could lose you if he does not get his act together.

If he comes around and starts shaping up, then great! If not, you did yourself a favor by cutting him loose, because he was only wasting your time and playing with your heart. You deserve to be treated with respect and demanding that for yourself is the best way to deal with hot and cold men.


About Adrienne Mansfield

Comments

  1. Great advice..but so hard to stick to it. I met a man online, we met up, we got on really well, we met several times, even spent a few nights together, it was uncomplicated and he made me feel very special. He sent me text messages all the time, calling me sweety, being generally lovely and keen…A week ago he came to my house, we spent a few hours together, everything was great, since then he’s gone distant and cold, his texts have gone very ”matter of fact” as if we are just mates, and now he doesn’t reply at all. I have no idea what I’ve done, I am trying to keep away and not get in touch, but I am finding it very hard, and I really just want to know why he doesn’t bother any more. We have been seeing each other for 5 months, I just do not understand why he can’t at least tell me what went wrong. I am quite sad about the whole thing now, cos I really like him, and he always gave me the impression he really liked me, too.

    • Anonymous says:

      From my experience, he is showing you his true colors. This is a blessing in disguise. He is a selfish person who doesn’t know how to treat people. Some men are addicted to chasing many women. Sometimes during the time that they are being cold to you, they are actually out there trying to meet many women and then when those relationships end, they feel lonely again and want to come back into your life for that boost to their self esteem. Then when you have built him back up again, he is ready to be cold to you again and go searching for a new lover or two. No one needs a man like this in their life ever. He did you a huge favor. Now you know he will not be a good husband or partnered for you.

  2. Guys’s perspective – I usually play “cold” when I’m mad at a woman. Say she flirts a lot with a guy who’s buffer than me or something that makes me feel insecure and I don’t want to seem needy and accuse her of being a flirt. So I’ll just ignore her or treat her like a nobody (I couldn’t treat her nicely when I’m mad even if i wanted to) until a) I cool down b) She realizes she’s pissed me off and tries to be nicer to me.
    I’m just hoping that you’ll notice that you’ve hurt me. Maybe I’m a bit jealous, but I never flirt with other girls in front of someone I like, so I expect the same behavior.

    • Rosemarie says:

      Thanks for your comment. What you said helps me understand how I probably am making the guy mad at me. He’s acting cold after he sees me talking with other guys. I notice he is getting back at me by flirting with other girls.

  3. Great article! Thank you so much! This helped me alot!!

  4. Hi

    How true. We women tend to focus on what men want and how to bring them closer to us. Big mistake (from experience), how about we have our own lives, show him u are happy with and without him. If he doesn’t know your value and worth, then amicably cut your losses and someone who will honor you will come around.
    Yes, it’s not easy but it’s possible.

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