Guys give a lot of reasons for not wanting to be in a committed relationship, but they are usually just excuses designed to let you down gently so they do not have to tell you the harsh truth. Let’s delve into some of the most common reasons why men really do not want to commit.
1. He fears losing his freedom
This is the most common reason men are afraid of commitment. While young women grow up dreaming about finding that one perfect man and settling down, men spend their younger years enjoying the freedom to date lots of women and go out partying with the guys.
Men see being in a relationship as the end of their freedom. They also see it as the death of possibility, because settling down with one woman means they will have to give up on the fantasy of sleeping with tons of women.
Biologically, men were not designed to sleep with one woman. They were made to procreate and spread their seeds, but of course, men today have evolved and are 100% capable of being in monogamous relationships. You just need to understand that they still feel that drive to have sex with multiple women.
2. He fears losing his identity
Another very common reason that men will not commit is because they fear that you will try to change them and they will lose their identities. Being part of a couple does not mean that each partner should lose their identities as individuals.
Many men have this fear because a past girlfriend tried to change them. Even though it has nothing to do with you, they may carry this fear of all women because of their past relationships. Maybe your man’s last girlfriend nagged and complained all the time and he never felt good enough for her just being who he was.
Showing a man that you have no intentions of changing him will help alleviate these fears and make him feel safe committing to you. Support your man’s passions and dreams and let him know that being in a relationship with you will add value to his life rather than take away his identity.
3. He does not see you as girlfriend or marriage material
A lot of men may seem like they are commitment phobic or emotionally unavailable, but then you break up with them and they go and marry a woman after dating her for only a few months. What is the deal with that?
In that situation, it is clear that the man was just not ready to commit to one particular woman, but when the right woman came along, he snapped her up and married her. The message here is that if your man is not willing to commit, it might be because he just is not ready to commit to you specifically.
Do no feel bad about yourself if this is the case. It just means that your man has not developed an emotional attachment to you on a deep enough level. His fear of losing you has not become greater than his fear of losing his freedom.
The best thing to do in this situation is to give your man enough space to develop the emotional attachment to you that is necessary for him to want to commit. Pushing things and trying to get closer to him will just smother him and make him want to pull further away.
You need to make yourself a priority and show him that your universe does not revolve around him. Go out and have your own life. Dating other guys is one of the best things you can do because it will keep you busy and keep your options open. You do not want to get hung up on that one guy who is not ready to commit to you, because you deserve better.