make a man love you

Why Do Men Lie? – The Top 5 Reasons

Why Do Men Lie?Are you sick of your man telling lies all the time? He lies about “working late” when he really went out with the guys for a beer. He lies about what he really wants and how he really feels.

He lies so easily about trivial things that you start to wonder if he lies about bigger things as well.

It’s an age-old question that women all over the world ask: “why do men lie?” Men lie for a variety of reasons, and some are the very same reasons women lie. In actuality, we all lie at times, so don’t be too hard on your man just yet.

Let’s take a look at some of the most common reasons men lie to women so you can start to understand ways to create more open and honest communication in your relationship.

1. To Avoid Drama

Have you have ever gotten upset and reacted dramatically when you’re man told you the truth about how he felt or what he wanted from the relationship?

Would you be surprised to learn that now your man just sugarcoats things and tells you what you want to hear to avoid facing more drama?

Men quickly learn to adapt their behavior to keep the peace. If he can tell a little white lie to avoid drama and make his life easier, why would he ever want to tell you the truth?

If there’s no perceived upside to telling you the truth in a given situation, why would a man want to be honest? This is true of both men and women when it comes lying. We all just want to make things easier for ourselves.

2. To Avoid Getting Caught

Nobody wants to get caught doing something they know they shouldn’t and have to face the music. This is human nature and it’s true of both men and women.

However, men have a particular way of twisting things around and putting the blame on you. He’ll pull out all the excuses in the book and swear he just didn’t want to hurt your feelings. However, this is usually man-speak for he really didn’t want to deal with your anger after you busted him.

If you catch your man doing something shady, the reality is that he would not have done it in the first place if he didn’t want to hurt your feelings. He lied because he wanted to save his own skin, plain and simple.

3. To Get Out Of Doing Things

Men will lie to get out of doing undesirable tasks, such as household chores or errands. If you ask your man to pick up a few groceries on his way home from work, he might suddenly have to stay late.

Or maybe he conveniently forgets to do things, because he knows you’ll end up doing it yourself. Why do those pesky chores when he knows you’ll end up doing them for him?

Men don’t like any sort of pressure to do things they don’t want to do. The more pressure you put on them, the more they accuse you of nagging.

It is wise to choose your battles and bring up those pesky tasks on the honey do list at a time when your man is relaxed and feeling stress-free.


4. Past Conditioning From Old Girlfriends

Sometimes men have had negative experiences with their exes and have been conditioned to lie to avoid drama.

For example, if a man always got flack from his ex-girlfriend for spending too much time with the guys, he might have become accustomed to lying about it.

So now, he might tell you he’s staying late at the office when he’s really going out for happy hour with his friends.

In this case, he’s lying because the woman that came before you made his life difficult every time he told the truth about where he was.

5. He’s Insecure

Sometimes men lie simply because they are insecure about the truth. They want to impress you so they put up a front. They think if you knew the truth, you would no longer be interested in them.

Men who are insecure might lie about their age or their jobs. They might put up ten-year-old pictures on their online profiles back when they had hair and were fifteen pounds thinner.

It’s natural for everyone to experience some insecurity, but lying about yourself is not the best way to build a relationship. An insecure man who lies about trivial things is much more likely to lie about more important things.

How To Have More Open And Honest Communication In Your Relationship

Now that we’ve looked at some of the most common reasons men lie to women, here is how to get your man to start being more truthful.

The best way to encourage a man to be honest is to make him feel safe to do so. It’s one thing to say you won’t get mad or create drama, but do your actions live up to your promises?

From now on, make an effort to stay calm and express your feelings in a constructive way the next time you get upset by something your man says. Don’t make his life miserable just for being honest about something.

Once your man knows you can handle honesty and not bring the drama or punish him for it, he’s going to start opening up and be more truthful with you.

Please leave a comment below to share your personal experiences or let us know why you think men lie.


Comments

  1. I have been dating a guy on and off for 3 years, he lied to me A LOT in the past, mostly because he was doing things that I didn’t like and so would lie to cover up and avoid drama. I found out, and don’t think I can ever let it go. He still continues to cover things up, and he continues to say it’s because he feels he can’t tell me things beacuse I’ll overreact. But he rearely tries! Every time we seem to be going well, I find out something that he has been keeping from me, so I question him, and that leads to arguments! Why do I feel like its all my fault!

  2. Wow! I’m shocked at the responses on here regarding lying. Men and women who think it’s okay to lie even about small things are seriously cheating themselves and prolonging what can possibly be a great relationship. A lie is a lie. You’re forgetting the underlying meaning of the word. If you feel the need to lie to someone on a regular basis just to keep them happy then you’re either a pussy with no thoughts of your own or are just lying to yourself the fact that you’re with the wrong person.

    If my husband doesn’t like my boots…he’ll say so…but not in a mean way that I would take offense. He’ll say “babe those boots are not doin it for me” and smile. I love his approach and appreciate his honesty. If I don’t like his shirt I’ll do the same. We don’t lie to each other and I never catch him in even small lies. We’re too vocal and honest…but in a good way.

    I think most people just settle for people who aren’t suited to them and make up every excuse in the book for bad behavior. These things are easy to spot when you’re dating and I find it incredible that people marry with issues like this. If she gets mad at you for stupid things find someone who doesn’t…if he lies to you about every little thing find someone who doesn’t. Good grief it isn’t rocket science people.

  3. I understand why they lie. But they keep lying, even when they know we know. There’s always an excuse…
    But isn’t it better to say the truth and face the drama, instead of lying and dealing with that all the time. The more they tell the truth, more we will trust them and create less drama.

    After getting many lies from my boyfriend, I started to learn how he lies, his body language, his type of lies… and he knows it, but he keeps doing it. Maybe I am the stupid not brave enough to end it all, or walk away…
    They make us believe they will change, they won’t lie again… and we keep having hope and keep getting disappointed.

    Guys should know this: “If a woman asks you a question, it’s better to tell her the truth. Chances are she’s asking you because she already knows the answer.”

  4. So my boyfriend comes to live with me Feb 1st of this year, its now Oct. Over the months in between I noticed he was having contact with women on our mutually shared fb page. Ex: I checked fb one day and saw a message from some lady saying omg, I just saw this, call me and she left her number. When I asked who she was he said she was his ex and he had no idea how she found him.

    Then one day a message on fb to say some different woman named kelly (who he cheated on me with several years ago with) accepted a friend request, he swore he was drunk the night before and had no recollection searching for her. Anyways, 2 others he searched for with the same excuses… THEN, yesterday, fb sends me a random message to check out my activity log, I didnt know there was such a thing, so come to find out he’s been lying to me this whole time, and has been searching for them since feb 20th… lookung up all these women’s names 9-10 times a day…

    • Adrienne Mansfield says:

      The thing that stands out to me is that you said he cheated on you several years ago. If he’s still searching out other women, that’s not a good sign. It seems like he hasn’t changed his ways.

  5. Great now I feel guilty about my husband’s lying habits…. So I push him into lying cause I get upset when he does or says something stupid… It’s always the women’s fault… I guess we need to treat our men like we treat our children, childish and not fully developed.

    • Adrienne Mansfield says:

      No, it’s not your fault that your husband lies. Avoiding drama is one possible reason why men lie, but that doesn’t mean that’s why your man is lying.

      If your husband is lying to avoid drama, it doesn’t mean that you pushed him into lying or that it’s your fault. It just means that you need to work on communicating better.

  6. My previous relationships have all ended as the direct result of my significant other being unfaithful. When I was 21 – 27 my level of self confidence and independence gave me all the strength or “back bone” I needed to move on before the cheater could say booty call.

    Now at 34, I have become the opposite of my younger look alike, a stay at home mom/house maid/slave/gofer ect. All the benefits for him without the commitment. I’m starting to fully understand what my daddy meant by “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” And why not cheat if there are no consequences or repurcussions? Possibly no conscience either….

    So my question is how does a person know when to say it’s over? I have given more than enough chances and put up a very good fight. Do I give it one more last try or do I say I’m done?

    If I didn’t mention this yes I have had sufficient proof fall into my lap about 5-11 times, without having to look or dig to catch my current cheater. I stayed because I was madly in love with him. I am beginning to fall out of love with myself, that can’t be healthy. Maybe I just answered my own question..

    Thanks
    Hillary

    • Adrienne Mansfield says:

      Hillary I think you are a wise woman and you’ve just got caught up with the wrong man. The most significant thing I read was at the end of your comment when you said you are “beginning to fall out of love with myself.” I agree that is not healthy!

      You’ve got to love yourself and take care of yourself first and foremost. You know what you deserve and you should not settle for anything less. Think about it this way, if you love yourself, would you let yourself experience this?

      I think you already know that it’s time to say it’s over, and only you can make that decision.

  7. Tonia colley says:

    I am a 20 year old married lady, I have a short fuse but I don’t understand why telling the truth is so hard??? Yeah I may be annoyed but not half as annoyed as I am when I find out (and I’m pretty clever and always find out) when you’ve lied!!! However my husband lies about little things.. And now I’m starting to wonder if that’s the only thing he’s lying about! I’ve been hurt in the past and this is usually how it starts!!

    • I feel you, been married to an active liar 14 years … Sometimes he makes up crazy stories after we had a argument about something stupid he did just so I could take my mind off what he did wrong. Sometimes he really gets me worried and upset until I start reading his body language and as I ask more details I realize he’s again lying …. Ps it never ends

  8. We lie because you can’t handle the truth. More accurately no one can handle some truths.
    Spraying a machine gun at me every time I tell you something you don’t want to hear… that is avoided by sugar coating some things.
    Oh and don’t ask questions you know you are not going to like the answer to. That leads to a lie and a lecture about lying.
    And of course lying is always fun. The truth sometimes is boring.
    Oh btw, I don’t lie. :P Like that’s true.

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