Yes, we all know men like getting blow jobs, fantasize about threesomes, and generally just love sex and want it all the time. But let’s delve in a little deeper into what men really want in bed and wish women knew.
1. It’s All About The Attitude
Guys want to have sex with a woman who is actually into it. Eagerness and enthusiasm go a long way. A lot of women have the attitude that just letting a guy have sex with her is some kind of gift, and guys hate that.
If you are just going through the motions, or doing it out of obligation, as a favor, or because you want something in return, that’s a major turn off.
The ultimate turn on to a guy is being with a woman who is enjoying the sex just as much as he is.
2. Make Him Feel Wanted
Men have a strong need to be sexually wanted. Just telling a man “I want you” can do all kinds of things for his ego.
Letting him know how much you enjoy sex with him also works great. Try telling him, “I love having you inside me.” If you’re too shy to say that aloud, try texting him.
If you don’t want to be that direct, you can let him catch you staring at his butt or any other part of his body that turns you on. Perhaps even touch him more than usual, especially in naughty places.
Objectify him a little, lust after him, and let him know how much he turns you on. You’ll catch him off guard and make him feel like he’s so sexy you just can’t control yourself.
3. Initiate Once In A While
Traditionally, men are the ones who initiate sex. They’re wired that way as a result of their ancient hunter ancestors.
Most men love to take charge and are cool with initiating sex most of the time. But it can get old when he has to be the one to do it every time.
Remember how guys need to feel wanted? When you never initiate sex, your man might start to feel like you’re not attracted to him.
Whisper in his ear how badly you want him inside you, or stick you hand down his pants. If you really want to rock his world, wake him with a morning BJ.
However you decide to initiate sex, it’s guaranteed to make your guy happy because for once he doesn’t have to be the one to do it.
Although men love to be in charge, they like to be dominated every once in a while too. It can get boring after a while to be the one who is always in control.
It drives a guy wild when a woman grabs him, pushes him down, and has her way with him. A woman who knows what she wants and goes after it is a huge turn on.
If you tend to let your man take control all the time, try turning the tables and taking the reins once in a while. Not only will your man be in for a surprise, but he’ll know without a doubt how much you want him.
5. Confidence Is Key
Confidence is the sexiest trait a woman can have. Whatever insecurities you have, remember that your man is with you because he’s attracted to you and wants to have sex with you.
A woman who can take her clothes off with confidence is much more attractive than a woman who asks her man to turn the lights off first. Men are visual creatures and get off on seeing you in all your naked glory.
If you are uncomfortable, try soft lighting that will hide any flaws you’re stressing over. But in all likelihood guys would never notice those little jiggles or that cellulite you’re so worried about. They’re just so thrilled to be there with you, naked!
6. Be Vocal
Guys love it when you let loose and get loud. A woman who can express herself in the bedroom is a huge turn on.
Whether it’s moaning and groaning or uninhibited screaming, they appreciate the feedback that whatever they’re doing is working. Guys need to know they’re doing a good job. They want to know that they’re driving you so wild that you can’t help but scream in ecstasy.
Throw in a little dirty talk and you’ll send him over the edge! Give him a filthy play-by-play or let him know what you want to do to him next.
7. Give Instructions
Every woman is different when it comes to what they like. Guys appreciate a little guidance on how to pleasure you, otherwise it’s a lot of trial and error on their part.
You are the one person who knows exactly what it takes to get you off, so help a guy out and give him some instructions to set him in the right direction. Don’t be shy about it!
Whether you guide him with sounds or words of encouragement when he’s on the right track, or flat out tell him what to do when he’s not, most guys will be thankful. If you want bonus points, get a little dirty when you’re telling him what you want him to do to you.
A woman who knows what she wants is a turn on. Plus, guys get a lot of sexual gratification from pleasing their partners. Anything you can do to help him please you is a win-win for both of you.
For men, sex is very much about feeding their egos. They want to feel desired, appreciated, and worshipped.
And this is why oral sex is so important to men. They are fixated on it so much because they want you to worship their cocks just as much as they do.
The key to giving a mind-blowing BJ is actually enjoying it. Having the power to send your man over the edge with a knee-buckling, thigh-quivering orgasm should make you feel sexy as hell.
Make eye-contact with your man and let him see how much pleasure it gives you to please him. You’ll make him feel like a rock star!
9. Be Adventurous
Men love women who are open to trying new things in the bedroom. Everyone has a different sexual appetite, so be adventurous and willing to try new flavors. It’s boring to do the same thing all the time anyways.
It’s also important not to make a guy feel bad about anything he wants to do. When you’re open to his fantasies, he’ll feel safe to express himself sexually and connected to you on a deeper level.
If you’re not comfortable with whatever it is he wants to do, that’s fine. Just don’t judge him for it or make him feel like a pervert. Negotiate and try to find something that works for both of you.
10. Don’t Fake It
Women usually mean well when they fake an orgasm. They don’t want to bruise their man’s ego so they just let him think he finished the job.
However, you’re actually giving positive reinforcement for something that didn’t work. If your man isn’t pleasing you, tell him how he can. Above all, your man really does want to please you and faking it doesn’t it allow him to be the best lover he can be.
If you know you aren’t going to come and you are ready to finish, you can just tell him. A direct instruction such as, “I want you to come now,” will let him know he’s free to let himself go without worrying about whether it’s been long enough for you.
Got anything to add? Please leave a comment below!
About Adrienne Mansfield
You don’t have to do BJ’s to have amazing sex. Communication, friendship and laughter are at the core of best relationships, in fact many women don’t do BJ’s at all and that’s totally okay. If you experience joy together, have a mutual attraction and a similar level of intellect that relationship underpins any physical contact and the closeness of intercourse it’s self will be all they could ever want. I promise you that degradation and power imbalances need not factor in.
I been with my boyfriend for 14yrs, I try to please him. I go above and beyond in the bedroom to keep things spicy. I g o down on him all the time, but he never goes down on me. I b brought this up to him a few times, but nothing happened. Any tips someone can give me.
great tips,now i know how to do it to make it more fun for for both of us
I am 53 and my man is also 53 and together he and I have the best sex we have ever had!! I feel confident, sexy, have no problem telling him what I want and asking what he wants…we share any and all new experiences together. He initiates and I do the same! Personally speaking, when you are over 50 your outlook on life is different…no games, don’t sweat the small stuff, not “needing” to get a ring on my finger and to sum it up “…a woman or man who knows what they bring to the table is not afraid to eat alone.” I do however really hope this relationship keeps growing as he is a wonderful person. Rant over.
Guys I had sex with my man last night for the first time
The problem is that I want too drunk I want to call or text him but I don’t know what to say
Please help
Always feel free to speak out your mind with your on sexual pleasures…it actually helps alot in bed coz when you know the g-spot of your partner it really makes sex enjoyable
I think um going to be better wife to my man…I never enjoyed sex but now I’ll take the advices
My man was talking about that when he was with he ex he had sex with 6 times in one night but can only have sex with me once in one night. Why? What am I doing wrong?
nipple suck him when his ontop of you and he will give you the best sex ever
Great tips! You were right on… My man is totally addicted to me… We’ve been together for 14 years and have gone through many sexual ups and downs ..Confidence and Enthusiasm is definitely the key to being any mans sexual goddess.. GIRLS: FOLLOW THESE TIPS!!
It’s al been said and done but the whole “what men want in bed” begins by them showing love and appreciating you. Men want it al,you do al that they want and love but still cheat on you,it’s Realy confusing what they really want and it’s sad because once you’re cheated on,things like BJ’s are the last things u can ever think of and at the end of the day,al the blame comes to u as a woman. I think men themselves do not know what they want. I bet you,u can do al 10 things as a woman,but they would still want more and go cheat on you,it’s just crazy.
Not all men are cheating ass holes. Plus this is for positive insight on actually taking time to please your men that deserve it. Thank you
I have a wonderfully patient husband that dealt with my “issues” and reluctance for many years. Never once did he cheat on me. With his love and patience I have long gotten over the fear and reluctance from the abuse I suffered. We now have the most amazing sex ever, daily. I am confident and open in bed and he reciprocates beautifully. There are still good men out there. I can’t go a full day without thinking about fucking him now. Lol.
I agree! My man is my FWB (of sorts) but also an amazing, caring, respectful friend! We have “amazing” times in & out of bed; we are very compatible & aren’t dating others bc we have every fantasy fulfilled w/each other! We’ve both been thru bad divorces so allowing ourselves to ‘fall in love’ brings up negative possibilities we don’t care to indulge. We have a bond without wanting more. He’s amazed with who I am & appreciates our honesty & directness. It’s been a year and know it may end as I’m 12 yrs older than him (which is totally irrelevant to him) & I’m truly okay with that bc he’ll remain my friend & confidant nonetheless & vice versa!
I’m back in the dating world after a 6 year relationship. I was 17 when we started dating and i was not very sexually experienced. I learned almost everything I no from him..since I dint know much he was able to teach me what he liked and how he liked it.but now being back in the dating world i was a little nervous about having a new partner..this helped a lot..
Im a man and this advice is spot on for me. You have to feel it and want it. Don’t act it just to catch a guy or it will end in tears for both of you. A couple of things that apply to me (I cant speak for “mankind”). I’m not a cave man, sex is about intimacy and being close. My whole body is a sex organ, the more aroused I am the more sensitive I become. BJ’s are over rated, hands work much better and its nice to have you 100 percent in control. I don’t worship my penis but it does make me feel great to be turned on.
Sex is free and the best drug in the world – Its a shame its harder than it needs to be!
A great advice for ladies who want to please their guyz.try it out en uwl get to c how things work.thanks alot a know now how to handle him
great tips
My man rocks , he knows how to turn me on . At least now l know that l shud work on me initiating sex
I’m sponteneous bt he isn’t. He makes sex way too boring for me n dat ain’t cool for a sexualy active gurl like me.wat do i do.?
Have you tried being spontaneous with him? I find that people want to be spontaneous but needs the other to take the lead at first.
Great tips and advice for women looking to please her husband. Give it try and it just go with the flow.
I’m the adventure one willing to try and do different things but he’s not into it what do I do ? How do I get him interested
What i recently have started doing is get a little dressed up find some outfits that make you iressitable and walk across the tv while hes playing a game and grab something and walk away or simply walk up to him and wisper a little dirty talk in his ear should do the trick. and by time you know it youll have him rock hard and when that happens hes pretty much telling ou that your in control.
Show him how much the diffetent things you speak of turn you on and enjoy…I’m willing to do anything if i know it turns the girl on and she enjoys it.
Find out what he is interested in…what does he want to explore… Make him feel comfortable, don’t judge or “poo-poo” his ideas.. At least it Wil give you an idea of where to go…
I think I knw xactly wat to do nw cos I’ve always bin afraid not to show him my bedroom skills cos I thought he would see me as a whore or a nympho but now I know better thanks a lot