8 Signs He Is Having An Emotional Affair

Signs He Is Having An Emotional AffairAn affair can be either physical or emotional since it is any relationship with someone outside the relationship that has an impact on the intimacy and overall dynamic of the relationship.

An emotional affair is an affair that often begins with an innocent friendship, and although lacks physical intimacy, includes an emotional intimacy that can be just as damaging.

The signs of an emotional affair are just as telling as those of a sexual affair, but they may be a bit more subtle.

If you think your man may be having an emotional affair, here are some signs to watch out for and some questions you can ask yourself to determine whether or not your man is having an emotional affair.

1. Excessive or inappropriate time spent with someone else

Does your man spend an inordinate amount of time with another woman and confide in her more than he does with you?

Does he share intimate emotional feelings and have secrets with this woman that he does not share?

Has your man been investing emotionally with this other woman more than he does with you and your relationship has suffered because of it?

2. Deception or secrecy

Does your man try to downplay the amount of time he spends with the other woman or does he lie about spending time with her?

If you answered yes, it shows that the emotional affair has reached a level where your man believes he is doing something wrong and needs to conceal it. If the relationship were an innocent friendship, there would be no reason to lie about it.

3. More concern about physical appearance than usual

Does your man spend extra time getting ready before meeting up with the other woman? Does he exercise more than usual, buy new clothes, or change his appearance to be more attractive to the other woman?

In many emotional affairs, there is an unspoken attraction to the other person. His concern about physical appearance may show that your man wants the emotional connection with the other woman to turn physical.

4. Withdrawal and lack of affection

Has your man been acting more withdrawn and preoccupied than usual? Does he avoid engaging in activities together?

Does he spend longer at work than usual to avoid spending time with you or to cover up time spent with the other woman?

Does he lack interest when you initiate physical contact and avoid initiating contact with you?

5. Increased phone activity

Does your man obsessively anticipate phone calls, texts, or emails and deny you access to his phone? Does he carry the phone at all times and talk or text often? Does he lie about who is calling or texting?

Have you noticed that the phone bill is higher than usual this month?

6. Increased fighting

Has your man’s relationship with the other woman caused a strain on your relationship, causing you to fight more often?

Does he start fights about trivial things and make you feel like you are always wrong? Have you gotten into fights about how much time he’s been spending with the other woman?

7. Emotional triangle

Has your man tried to keep you from spending any time with the other woman? He may be caught up in an emotional triangle that is only known to him. If this is the case, he may be trying to prevent you from seeing her to keep you from finding out about the impact of the emotional affair.

8. Denial

When you ask your man about his relationship with the other woman, does he insist that they are just friends? Does he refuse to admit there is anything inappropriate about the relationship?

He may actually be in denial that there has been an affair at all because of the lack of a physical relationship with the other woman.

When Does Friendship Cross The Line Into An Emotional Affair?

A close, intimate friendship with another woman can evolve into an emotional affair. Although there may not be a physical affair, the emotional intimacy can be of such an intensity that it is just as damaging to the relationship as a physical affair.

When your man develops an emotional connection with somebody else, that detracts from the intimacy that rightfully belongs in your relationship. When the emotional connection with the other woman starts to have a negative impact on your relationship, that is when it has crossed the line into an emotional affair.

There may be a thin line between a healthy friendship and an emotional affair. If you confront your man, he will likely insist that they are just friends and say it should be okay to have a friend of the opposite sex.

Having friends of the opposite sex is perfectly acceptable, but it is when he starts going to the other woman to get fulfillment that he is not getting in the relationship that the friendship has crossed the line.

Emotional fulfillment and intimacy is very important in a relationship, and when your man is going outside the relationship for it, that’s when you can classify it as an emotional affair.

About Adrienne Mansfield


  1. My husband befriended this lesbian and spends most of his time with her on the job. He’s constantly telling this person I’m cheating when I’m not. When I asks him if he is with this girl he denies it but he’s does almost anything this girl asks him to do. He says it’s innocent cause he doesn’t look at this girl like that. And she keeps saying she only like women and doesn’t look at him like that. What do you think? Should I give them the benefit of doubt?

  2. Yeah my man spends an unhealthy time chatting with other women online & shows no interest in me sexually or otherwise.
    When I share a joke with him, he no longer laughs & if it’s a sexual joke he looks at me like s*** on his shoe.
    “Just friends” – my arse! A liar & a desperado.

  3. My boyfriend does not work, and spends most of his time at home online talking to friends (both males and females). He has withdrawn from me, and he barely texts me anymore. He has completely stopped calling me also; and whenever I call him, he doesn’t answer his phone anymore, or return my calls like he used to. I am sure he is having an emotional affair with an online friend, due to the fact that he doesn’t have any female friends in our city. Only online female friends…. and A LOT of them!!

  4. My friend’s husband is still having an affair. How do I tell her? Should I tell her?

  5. I don’t know if my husband is having an emotional affair but he is not hot with me.

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