Why Men Pull Away And How To Deal With It

Why Men Pull AwayDoes this situation sound familiar? You have been getting closer and closer to your guy recently and things seem to have been going really well.

You guys were spending so much together and he was calling or texting every day. He would bring you flowers or do other romantic things, such as take you out for a fancy dinner date.

Then all of a sudden, just as quickly as you guys got close, he starts to withdraw.

If you are wondering why men pull away, then welcome to the club! This is such a common occurrence that just about every woman has asked herself this question at some point.

The answer of course depends on your exact situation, so I will go over some of the most common scenarios to break down the most common reasons why your man has been withdrawing.

Video Reveals: Why Men Lose Interest And How To Get Him To Fall In Love And Commit

Why Men Pull Away Video

What To Do If A Man Pulls Away After The First Few Dates

We have all been there, so do not feel bad if this happens to you. You have been dating a new guy and things seemed to be going well. He was texting and calling you and seemed really interested. You went on a few dates and then bam, he suddenly just disappears on you. You never hear from him again and it is as if none of it ever happened.Why Men Pull Away

So what is going on here? Are you crazy? Did you make the whole thing up in your head? Should you call him and try to find out if he is still interested?

The bottom line here is that this guy is not interested in you, and it is time to move on to the next guy. You are a hot, single woman who deserves to be chased and wooed by your man. You do not need to waste any more time on the kind of guy who just disappears.

In the beginning when you have just started dating a guy, both of you are still free to date other people. He probably has other options, and you should definitely have other options too. Date multiple guys at once so you never get hung up on this kind of guy.

In the dating phase, you should be letting guys chase after you. Guys have a biological instinct that makes them want to hunt you down and claim you as their own. They love to beat out the competition and win the prize. In order for that instinct to get fulfilled, you need to hold back and let them pursue you.

If you come on too strong in the beginning of a relationship by calling or texting a guy constantly, he is going to lose interest and pull away. Letting him pursue you at this stage is what will keep him interested and prevent him from pulling away.

If you let a guy pursue you, and he still pulls away, that is a sure sign that he is not interested. Wouldn’t you rather know now before you get too invested in the relationship?

There is no need to let it get you down if a guy loses interest. Wondering why men pull away after just a few dates will only drive you crazy.  There are plenty of other guys right around the corner that would love to get a chance with you.

What To Do if A Man Pulls Away After You Sleep With Him

Ah yes, this is perhaps the worst of all the guys who pull away. This is the guy who lays on the charm and works hard to get you into bed. But once you give it up and sleep with him, he suddenly disappears on you.

So what does it mean when a guy pulls away after sex? Did you do something wrong? Were you lousy in bed? You are left feeling used and hurt and want answers. So what you should you do?

Unfortunately this situation is all to common, and the answer is usually the same. The guy who pulls away after sex was usually just using you for sex. He was only interested in getting you into bed, and then he had no use for you once he got what he was looking for.

If this happens to you, the best thing to do is just move on. There absolutely are good guys out there, and there is no reason to waste any more time on this loser. You need to have respect for yourself and understand that you do not deserve this kind of treatment, ever, no matter what!

The best way to prevent this from every happening to you is to hold off on having sex with a guy you are dating until you get into a committed, monogamous relationship. Waiting can be hard, because women have needs too! But you need to protect yourself from the guys out there who only pursue you to get you into bed.

If you make a guy wait and he continues to pursue you, you will know for sure that he is interested in you, and not just sex. Once you have been dating for a while and both of you want to take it to the next level, have a conversation and discuss what being in a relationship means to both of you before you get into a physical relationship.

What To Do If A Man Pulls Away From A Longterm Relationship

There are a few common fears that most men have that factor into why they start to pull away from relationships. Men are afraid of losing their freedom, and they are afraid that you will try to change them. From time to time, they need to pull back and get the space to know that they are not losing their freedom and their identities.

Men and women have fundamental differences in the way they function in a relationship. Women are nurturers and men need to have space to grow closer to you. Taking it personally and questioning why men pull away will only make you feel more hurt and angry.  It is just biological fact that you need to accept.

On a scientific level, men start to feel uneasy when they bond with a woman too much. Bonding releases the love hormone, Oxytocin. In woman, this hormone reduces stress, but for a man, it actually lowers his testosterone levels which can then increase stress. Men need time to pull back from all that bonding and build back their testosterone levels.

This process is often referred to as the “rubber band,” where a man alternates between being close to his partner and pulling away, like a rubber band. The key is not to move towards your man when he is withdrawing, because it creates slack in the rubber band. You want to give him his space and keep the tension in the rubber band so that he eventually snaps back and becomes close to you again.

Just know that it is completely normal for men to need space in a relationship. This is actually how they get closer to you. Remember that old saying, absence makes the heart grow fonder? Men sometimes need to spend time apart from you so they can miss you and remember why they loved spending time with you in the first place.

It is not a bad thing for a guy to get a taste of what life is like without you. It will make him appreciate you even more and want to win you back so he never loses you for good. If you give him his space during those times when he needs to feel his freedom again, he is going to feel supported and comfortable enough to come back to you.

So what exactly should you do when he is off enjoying his freedom? Do the same thing! You need to have a life of your own too, so hang out with your friends, catch up on some reading, and just enjoy being you. You are a fabulous woman with a complete and fulfilling life all on your own. You do not need a man to complete you, so just roll with the punches and do not take it personally when your man needs a little space.

About Adrienne Mansfield


  1. Ashara Dayne says

    These men who pull away have an avoidant attachment style. Read ‘Attached’ by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller and ‘avoidant, bad boyfriends’ by Jeb Kinnison. After reading these I realised that I’d been unhappily married for over twenty years to an avoidant man. I’ve since met someone with a secure attachment style and the difference is night and day. Unfortunately most secure men pair off youngish so the dating pool is disproportionately full of avoidant men. DO NOT MARRY one you will be miserable.

    • I been married for almost twenty-five years. I did have an drug addiction, but Ive been clean 8 years. We were separated for 7 months before my rehab, and I did date a guy. We were doing good for over 5 yrs, now its back to not talking, not together at all he basically does what he wants, and I go and do what I want… There are many days and evenings we spend alone. I just feel that we dont love each other like we did before my drug addiction and rehab. Its come to be I dont like being home when he is there! Its nothing but fussing and smart remarks…

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