Do you know what it’s like to have a busy life get in the way of finding true love?
You’ve got so much on your plate already–a busy work schedule, squeezing in yoga or gym time if you can, occasional happy hour drinks with co-workers, and hanging out with friends on the weekend.
You have an incredible, fulfilling life, and your schedule is jam packed.
As strong, independent, successful women, it can be hard to make time to find love.
Plus, as independent women, it can be hard to attract the right men. The same qualities that make us so successful are not always the biggest turn on for men.
Yet we still want to have it all: a great job, the perfect man, and a loving family.
Hey, my name is Anita…
And I was in that situation. I was 36 years old, had a great career, a failed marriage behind me, and I still longed to find the man of my dreams and start a family.
I knew that I did not have that many child-bearing years ahead of me, and I knew having a family might not be in the cards for me.
I started to think that I might just have to accept my life as it was, but I couldn’t help feel that something was missing. Having children was something I always wanted to do, but the way my relationships were turning out prevented it from happening.
My first marriage was a disaster. I married way too young and and had not yet developed into the woman I would eventually turn out to be.
As I grew into that woman, my husband grew frustrated with me and felt intimidated by my success when his career plans did not go the way he planned.
We went our separate ways, and all my dreams of building a family with this man went out the window. It took me a while to start dating again.
I had come to a place in my life where I really did not need a man. I was supporting myself and completely secure in who I was. I had learned to be self-sufficient, direct, and articulate through years of climbing the corporate ladder.
Once I did start dating again, it felt like I was doing something wrong. I dated all kinds of men, but it seemed like none of them appreciated a strong, smart, successful woman.
I really did not want to have to change myself just to make a man feel more secure.
The problem was that I was 36 and I really did want to have children. I pondered what it would be like to raise a child on my own, but the picture I had in my head was a family, with a loving partnership as the foundation.
I longed for a family deep down, and having the man that fit into this picture was important to me.
I started reading dating advice books and tried all kind of crazy methods to land the man of my dreams. My girlfriends were giving me all sorts of advice that led me in the wrong direction.
I was playing games and not being myself, and it never worked out in the end. I ended up ruining my chances with a few really great men because I was not being my authentic self.
All my relationships seemed to follow the same pattern, fizzling out before it got serious. Men just seemed to disappear on me, leaving me frustrated and confused.
At this point, I started to see that the real problem lied within myself. You can only blame men for so long before you realize that you are probably the one sabotaging all the relationships.
Thankfully, I found a dating coach who helped me change my mindset about men. Learning how to finally understand and communicate with men was life changing for me.
The biggest change was understanding that the only person I could control was myself, and letting go helped me to actually have fun with the dating process.
I am so lucky I found the right coach, because I met an amazing man and was able to be my authentic self and have the relationship I always hoped for.
We got married and decided to start a family right away. I had my first child at 38, and my second child right after turning 40.
Within the span of 4 years, I was able to completely transform my life and create the family I had always dreamt about. I feel so lucky and I know everything worked out the way it was meant to be.
I owe a lot to my dating coach for helping open my eyes to understanding men and teaching me how to create a lasting relationship.